A Guy Can Dream

With the Yankees just losing to the Indians in the bottom of the 9th inning, my instinct is to author another post about the continual mismanagement of reliever deployment. Today’s offense was the refusal to use Mariano Rivera in a tie game on the road, even if it meant (as it ultimately did) losing the contest. Once again, we see that most managers simply will not use their closer unless he is protecting a lead in the 9th inning. I repeat: even if it means losing. 

To pacify myself, I will look at the following image and hope that the Cavaliers’ surprising elimination will nudge this ardent dream one step closer to a glorious reality.

Big 10 Basketball, An Animated Adjudicator, And Shane Battier

I’m working on a few major posts, but in the meantime, I’d just like to share with you three links that require three different amounts of time to enjoy.

The first and briefest is, quite simply, the box score from tonight’s Penn State-Illinois game. The final score? 38-33, Penn State. Lately I’ve been adding pictures to my posts, because they often add visual flair to this formerly drab space. In that vein, my first instinct was to include in this post a picture of someone projectile vomiting, because I think that’s more relevant to this game than either team’s logo or mascot. But, because this is a family website, I’m taking the G-rated route.

There. Hooray Big 10 basketball.

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While watching tonight’s Providence-Louisville game, I noticed that one referee in particular was making his calls with tremendous vigor and conviction. After seconds of squinting, it occurred to me that the coaches, players, and fans were graced with the enthusiastic presence of Ed Hightower, who can often be found assuming positions like this when spotting an infraction:

 

Now, this guy isn’t the most enthusiastic professional referee. But he’s hyperactive enough to have inspired a fantastically funny gallery to which Deadspin linked a couple weeks ago. It can be found here. My personal favorite, for those interested, is the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” rendition. There’s something for everyone.

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Lastly, I wanted to share with you The New York Times’ recent piece on the increasing use of statistical analysis in the NBA. In the column, Michael Lewis (of Moneyball fame) examines Houston Rockets swingman Shane Battier, his under-appreciated skills, and the Rockets’ deployment of those skills based on unconventional but fruitful scrutiny. It’s a bit long, but it’s awfully interesting and well worth the time investment for basketball fans and generally curious readers alike. 

No Steroids? No Outrage

On Sunday night, Phoenix Suns’ guard Jason Richardson was arrested for speeding in Scottsdale, Arizona. Richardson was reportedly clocked at 90 mph in a 35 mph zone. That’s bad. Upon approaching Richardson’s vehicle, the officer noticed that the player’s 3-year-old son was in the car, and not in a child seat. That’s reprehensible.

If you can do this, you can avoid social ridicule.

But because there are no accusations of cheating, or opportunities for Congressional grandstanding, or threats to the sanctity of a sport, this story will go the Brett Myers route, and disappear within a week. Sometime in March, Richardson will be on the business end of a thunderous alley-oop, and his reckless and horrific endangerment of his own child will be long forgotten because he has a vertical leap of 40 inches. 

Like I said, the steroids scandal reveals a lot more about us than it does the athletes.

Alonzo Mourning’s Legacy Should Be Mixed

Today, former Hornets, Nets, Raptors (kind of) and Heat center Alonzo Mourning retired from professional basketball. Mourning left a wonderful career in his wake. In 15 seasons, Mourning averaged 17.1 points, 8.5 rebounds, and 2.8 blocks, all while shooting 52.7% from the field. During his peak, which lasted roughly from 1995 to 2000, Mourning was a game-changing force on the court. He blocked shots at an astonishing rate, while altering countless others. He was fiery, physical, and passionate. This is what the vast majority of professional basketball fans will remember about Alonzo Mourning. Indeed, it is all true.

My memories of Mourning are considerably more mixed. They are tainted, inevitably, by the fact that I am a Knicks fan, and Mourning spent much of his years with the Heat. I am not sure how much this penetrated the national sports consciousness, but from 1997 to 2000, the Knicks and Heat really, really hated each other. It was not a rivalry perpetuated solely by fans. This was genuine and personal contempt for one another amongst the players and coaches. Any rivalry that gets its own Wikipedia page must be legitimate, must it not?

ESPN Must Improve: “Ability To Cover Sports”

I was trying to think of some witty way to introduce my newest complaint about ESPN, but I really don’t have it in me. The direct route seems more fitting for this one:

During last night’s NBA Draft, the viewer is treated to a highlight reel for each recently drafted player. Once the montage is over, ESPN tells us what each player must improve to have a more successful NBA career. It’s fun to read this, because invariably every white guy must improve his athleticism, foreign guy his toughness, and black guy his professionalism.

So, I was sitting at a bar and watching the draft with my friends. They were very patient and understanding of my desire to stick around until Shan Foster gets drafted. After all, I went to college with him and he has been prominently involved in some of my greatest memories from school. The 51st pick rolls around, and the Dallas Mavericks take him. We applaud and cheer. The highlight reel rolls. Shan Foster “must improve: 3-point shooting.”

Wait, what?

Foster shot 46.9% from deep his senior year. He also attempted the 13th most 3s of anyone in the country. And hit 46.9% of them. Foster’s shooting ability is the reason he got drafted. He’s not a great defender. He doesn’t get to the line. He’s not proficient at attacking the basket. He’s an average passer. But he’s a gifted, gifted shooter. His shooting is the one skill that might give him a spot in the league.

Now, the volume was off at the bar. Maybe one of the analysts saw that horrendous error and said something like “I don’t know why we have that up there” or “that is wrong.” If they did that, then I will calm down a little. If they didn’t, then that is the laziest, most careless analysis that I have ever seen.

Just awful.

Tangible Intangibles

As the Boston Celtics pulled away late in tonight Game 1 of the NBA Finals, ESPN color commentator Mark Jackson made a comment that should make proponents of the English language across the world weep into their hands. To paraphrase (but this is quite close to a quote):

“Here you see the Celtics use their intangibles to make a difference. They’re rotating defensively and boxing out, and that’s changing this game.”

Apparently, the word “intangible” is in the dictionary as a noun. Despite its frequent colloquial use as such, this surprised me. Nevertheless, I will entertain the idea that this word is a noun as well as an adjective, and give you the definition of its noun form:

• intangible, noun: something intangible: as a: an asset that is not corporeal b: an abstract quality or attribute

I would say that effective defensive rotations and boxing out are not only quite tangible, but awfully corporeal. Furthermore, they are qualities and attributes that are by no means abstract, as indicated by Jackson’s ability to readily observe them.

I know this seems like nitpicking, but the frequent misapplication of the word “intangible” coupled with my general affinity for the English language made me feel like this post was necessary.

Score One For Bill Simmons

I was just looking at ESPN’s Bill Simmons’ NBA preview when I decided to add up all his predicted records and see if they equaled .500. Often – particularly in football previews – analysts predict each team’s record, and somehow it all adds up to the league playing .575 ball or something. So, I took five minutes out of my very busy Thanksgiving break to tally it up.

And guess what. The league’s record equaled .500. I feel sort of dirty complimenting a major sportswriter for, like, making sure that this mathematical inevitability exists in his predicted records. I mean, this is like telling your son you’re proud of him for not killing someone. Well, it’s not exactly like that, but you get my point. Anyway, kudos to Bill Simmons. I look forward to the day he screws up and I can hammer him mercilessly.

Also, a current headline on ESPN.com’s main page reads “[Mike] Tyson eats sloppy joes, reads mob epic in jail stay.”

Seriously? This is what we’re putting on the front page? This is one of the many reasons why ESPN is kind of a complete joke sometimes.

Ah, Sample Size – We Meet Again

Once upon a time, I was a serious NBA fan. It’s true. While my dedication to the league as a whole as waned (and my interest in the Knicks has inexplicably remained strong), I still find myself reading a fair number of NBA columns.

Which brings me to this brief roundup of the NBA’s Vegas Summer League. Author Brian Windhorst writes:

The reason [Daniel] Gibson can be so effective is not just his outside-shooting prowess, but his developing inside game. He is honing an effective floater and has shown he can get into the lane and draw fouls. And in fact, the free throw line is where Gibson may be most deadly, based on his 89 percent shooting there in the postseason.

The last sentence caught my eye, because in general it’s a bad idea to draw conclusions about a player from a his/her postseason statistics. This is, of course, because of the issue of small sample size.

So, I looked up Gibson’s career free-throw shooting percentage (FT%), because I strongly suspected that Mr. Windhorst was jumping to conclusions way too quickly about Gibson’s free-throw shooting ability. My suspicions were confirmed:

• 2006-2007 Playoffs: 38/43, 88.372%
• 2006-2007 Season: 28/39, 71.8%
• 2005-2006 Season (college): 69/95, 72.6%

While it is certainly possible that Gibson will improve his FT% (he’s still very young), to suggest that Gibson is “most deadly” from the free-throw line after a statistically unlikely postseason performance is somewhat nuts.