David Ortiz Is Fat And Lovable And Clutch

Which is why he can get away with saying this.

“I don’t remember what Matsuzaka looked like till I saw him this winter,” Ortiz said. “I always tell people that everybody looks the same to me in Japan.”

[Ortiz] just needs to be able to tell the difference between [Matsuzaka and Okajima], he joked, saying, “I know there’s going to be one pitching every five days and another one coming into the game every day.”

You fat, jolly, lovable man. Imagine if A-Rod said this. He would have to put on 80 pounds, come up with a homoerotic/questionable nickname for himself, and grin like an idiot all the time – then he would be David Ortiz, and then he could get away with being an ignoramus.


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