Which is why he can get away with saying this.
“I don’t remember what Matsuzaka looked like till I saw him this winter,” Ortiz said. “I always tell people that everybody looks the same to me in Japan.”
[Ortiz] just needs to be able to tell the difference between [Matsuzaka and Okajima], he joked, saying, “I know there’s going to be one pitching every five days and another one coming into the game every day.”
You fat, jolly, lovable man. Imagine if A-Rod said this. He would have to put on 80 pounds, come up with a homoerotic/questionable nickname for himself, and grin like an idiot all the time – then he would be David Ortiz, and then he could get away with being an ignoramus.