Just When I Think I’m Out, They Pull Me Back In

I have not posted in forever. I’m genuinely embarrassed to look back at the date of my last offering. So I won’t. We have a black president. My sister is in college. The Knicks are unstoppab…okay, so not everything has changed since my last post. I have many reasons for my absence (neglect?), but most of them are inadmissible. The reason for my newfound vigor, however, is easily traceable. 

Last night, I went to Madison Square Garden with my dad for a college basketball doubleheader. I hadn’t been to the Garden in ages. The Knicks are a total disaster, and monetarily rewarding Isiah Thomas for his truly remarkable and successful destruction of my first love was not exactly an enticing prospect. In any case, it was delightful to return to the Garden. Until the man sitting next to me opened his mouth.

The moment came midway through the first half of the Boston College-Purdue game. Purdue was leading, 18-16. The gentleman to my right, apparently a Purdue fan, nurturingly and paternally turned to his young son. Then, with the most genuine confidence imaginable, he uttered the following:

“That’s weird, Purdue hasn’t hit any 3s. I know that because they have an even number of points.”

This must have been what it felt like to lose a million dollars at a single hand of blackjack. I was crushed. Not even angry, just crushed. I knew that this sort of stupidity was pervasive in all the sports media entities I have previously bashed. I just had no idea that it could trickle down to the streets like this. This proved that, just like the rest of us, idiots grew up and got jobs and had kids and saw basketball games at Madison Square Garden too. They do not work exclusively at ESPN, or Sports Illustrated, or CBS, or the White House. They walk amongst us.

So, I’m back. People like this man must know that Purdue can, in fact, have 18 points by hitting exclusively three-pointers. If this man can hold a job and make enough money to afford four good seats for his family at Madison Square Garden, then I have no excuse not to blog about how wrong that is.

The war against lazy, shoddy, and outright ridiculous analysis wages on, and I’m back in the trenches.


One Response to Just When I Think I’m Out, They Pull Me Back In

  1. wheatbites says:

    It always makes me laugh listening to what some people say! Good pick up on this one. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your posts. I saw the Rangers play at Madison Square Garden while in New York – what a venue! Hope the Knicks can do better this season. Keep posting

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