Your Christmas Malapropism

I did not plan on posting today, but I came across this on ESPN News about an hour ago. Resistance was futile.

San Diego Chargers’ linebacker Matt Wilhelm apparently does not like Denver Broncos’ quarterback Jay Cutler. His hatred is so ardent that he resorted to his last line of defense: an awesome malapropism.

“Jay Cutler, being the guy that he is, made some shrewd comments to [Shaun Phillips] and myself,” Wilhelm recalled of the in-game dialogue. “Brandon Marshall was making comments throughout the game. All these comments are being made, and they’re not making plays. Yet they’re the ones going home, and we’re preparing for our playoff game. It was essentially a wave to him goodbye and hopefully have a great offseason.”

Shrewd comments! Oh my, what did Cutler say?

“If I could, I would say them,” Wilhelm said. “But they’re unfit for radio.”

Cutler’s profundity is so powerful that to recount it on the radio would be too mind-blowing for us to handle. Must be that Vanderbilt degree. 

You mean “lewd,” Mr. Wilhelm. “Lewd.”

Merry Christmas.

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