ESPN.com’s Front Page Lays Waste To English Language

This Brady vs. Manning checklist is an abomination. It starts out with two nouns – “deep ball” and “accuracy.” Fine. Then it goes to two comparative criteria – “tougher” and “stronger arm.” Since we started with nouns, how about “toughness” and “arm strength”? No? Okay. Then we’re on to “smartest,” even though we’re comparing only two people, so it should be “smarter,” but only if we’ve decided that that’s a better choice than “intelligence,” which it isn’t. And finally, we end our hectic digression into the horrifying bowels of modern linguistics with a return to three nouns – “leadership,” “mobility,” and “mechanics.” Which is pretty much where we just needed to stay all along.

Keep it up, ESPN!

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4 Responses to ESPN.com’s Front Page Lays Waste To English Language

  1. sasoc says:

    There needs to be a category for this (and Manning wins hands down):
    http://wp.me/pMW8w-1e

  2. Avigail says:

    LMAO. Hahahahaha, good catch.

  3. Phil says:

    On top of the obvious linguistic problems, one has to wonder about the categories themselves, which are extremely vague and/or outright superfluous. For example, what exactly is the difference between “deep ball” and “arm strength?” Is it possible for one QB to be better in “deep ball” but worse in “arm strength?” I suppose that hypothetical QB would throw slow, weak, wobbly Rex Grossman-style floaters for 50 yds that magically seem to always find their target…?

  4. Steve "Ching" Tchiengang says:

    No, Phil. Deep ball refers the ability to put appropriate touch on a ball of 30 yards or more so as to connect with a receiver over a predetermined shoulder as close to in-stride as possible. Arm strength refers to the timing routes of 7 to 25 yards that require quick release and precision passing into tight windows with appropriate velocity. But yeah this whole thing is pretty f-ing stupid. It looks like the pre-fight screen for a Mortal Kombat match.

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